gRaTeFuL....

Today I am feeling very grateful. In the past few weeks I have wallowed in a lot of self pity and frustration with life in general. Today I had a quite slap in the face and realized that even though life isn't going just perfect I still have a lot to be grateful for!

Last week while at work my ring finger became numb, then suddenly my entire hand. I got this excruciating headache that was so bad I couldn't even hold my head up. The pain was so bad I just started throwing up. Everyone at work freaked out and was sure I'd had a stroke. So against my wishes they made me go to the ER. I kept on telling them I didn't have insurance and that I was really just fine but then my other hand went numb and I was getting nauseated again. They called Jeremy and he said to tell me not to worry about the money and he'd meet us there. (He is so calm in situations like this, I am not!) After getting to the ER I don't remember a whole lot. My head hurt so badly that I just wanted to close my eyes. They got me hooked up to an IV and gave me some really great pain medicine, I was in and out after that but I do remember freaking out a little about getting the IV because of how bad my IV was when I had Sadie. (It didn't even hurt this time!) I guess Cade came to help Jeremy give me a blessing but I only vaguely remember him walking in and then I think I just slept through the blessing. I then remember the doctor coming in and telling me they were taking me for CT scan, I remember thinking, that's going to be expensive! Usually in situations like this I would be worrying myself sick, but I was in so much pain I couldn't even think. After about 10 minutes they came back and told us the CT scan was fine, and wanted to do a spinal tap, I was awake then! The doctor gave us the choice because I wasn't feverish and I opted out! He told us that he was pretty sure it was what they call a complex migraine, where the signs mimic that of a stroke, but are actually just the effects of a really bad migraine. I have never had a migraine before and I really hope I don't get them very often. The doctor said I will most likely be prone to them now. My head hurt for a few days but after getting home and sleeping the rest of the day I felt much better.

Today I was checking blogs and I happened to fall upon someones blog who on the exact same day and the exact same thing happen to him. A little more intense but in general the same symptoms. He went to the ER and after getting his CT scan they found a tumor on his brain. My heart just dropped at the thought of what could have been. I was immediately humbled. I am so blessed, and even though that ER bill is going to be outrageous it could have been worse. I have an amazing husband who immediately dropped everything to take care of me (who actually went above and beyond by cooking me dinner and then when I woke up the next morning I found that the house was spotless!), I have an amazing sister who immediately went to get Sadie from daycare and watched her until Jeremy could get her. I have Sadie, who is the light of my life! She makes me smile and laugh every day, and although entering quite a naughty stage I love her to pieces, and naughty or nice she is still the cutest thing I've ever seen! I have a job next year teaching 3rd grade and in the current situation for teachers in the Logan School District and the number of people I graduated with 2 weeks ago, this is a huge blessing! So our graduation vacation we were going to take this summer is going to have to wait...and although I have been so sad about that this week, today I realized just how insignificant that was. I love my family, I have so much to be grateful for, especially my health!